#20

For me, there is no clear line between film and music. However, those films and musicians that speak to me best seem to be the most conflicted. I have often spoke with my Mother about this, asking, "Why is it that the really great works of art seem to stem from the greatest sorrow, the most conflicted of men and women, the deepest of pain?" Not that there isn't an exception to this idea but it does seem to hold true for the most part. Ernest Hemingway comes to mind, perhaps the greatest American author who ever penned the English language committed suicide in his early sixties. Kurt Cobain also comes to mind, one of the most gifted singer songwriters of my generation dead before the age of thirty, also suicide. The only answer I can come up with is this; Truth. Something profound and palpable lives within truth, the word that can set you free - write about what you know they say and how could it be any easier to accomplish such a thing than by simply telling the truth.

It is this very idea that leads me to love the singer songwriter. Just as the singer songwriter, more often than not, my favorite filmmakers are those who write and direct their own films. However, music trumps film in one significant way - little if any collaboration is needed for the musician to accomplish their goal, not at all the case with film. Great songwriting is so much a form of poetry, great dialog in a film holding the power to stick with us days after we hear it. One of my favorite films is A River Runs Through It, I care more deeply about the novel by Norman Maclean than I do the film, but I really do love this movie. So many moments shine for me in this film, the sorrow that exists in this story stands out for me but it is the written word that shines brightest, two scenes in particular. The first; when Norman is falling in Love with Jessie and she sits near a window reading a letter he wrote to her...

Dear Jessie,

As the moon lingers a moment over the Bitterroots, before its descent into the invisible, my mind is filled with song. I find I am humming, softly, not to the music, but to something else, some place else. A place remembered. A field of grass where no one seemed to have been, except the deer, and the memory is strengthened by the feeling of you, dancing in my awkward arms.

The other memorable moment is when Norman walks into his Father's office to find him reading aloud, they begin reciting a poem back and forth and eventually become unified in their words.

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting

The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star,

Hath had elsewhere its setting,

And cometh from afar:

Not in entire forgetfulness,

And not in utter nakedness,

But trailing clouds of glory do we come

From God, who is our home.

Though nothing can bring back the hour

Of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower;

We will grieve not, rather find

Strength in what remains behind;

In the primal sympathy

Which having been must ever be;

In the soothing thoughts that spring

Out of human suffering;

In the faith that looks through death,

Thanks to the human heart by which we live,

Thanks to its tenderness, its joys, and fears,

To me the meanest flower that blows can give

Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears."

Words this beautiful seem to sing, surely they breathe and this is how I feel about the next album on this list. Matthew Ryan seems to be overrun with pain. The greatest challenge that I face is deciding which album of his to highlight, for there are three that could and should be on this list. He is perhaps one of the most underrated and unknown musicians this country has had in a very long while. I believe him to be one of the most exceptional songwriters not only of my generation but of any generation. His voice is quite unconventional and perhaps plays a vital role in his ability to stay under the radar. After learning to play the guitar in his late teens, he struggled learning to play popular songs and so he began writing his own. Lucky for us he began writing his own.

Matthew Ryan - May Day (1997)

I adore this album, I adore all twelve tracks, I adore the heartache and pain that lives within, I adore it completely. With the opening track, "Guilty" Matthew Ryan wastes no time in blaming himself for that heartache and pain. Lyrically, this album and Ryan in general stands behind no one - his songwriting all his own and it is masterful. With each and every track Ryan allows his listeners to go deeper inside the torment and discomfort that comes in failed relationships. The third track "Irrelevant" opens with a remarkable ten sentence verse,

There's only one light on in the house

And that's the light up in the hall

And it's shining on the back of my head

And I'm concentrating hard on the cigarette

To the ashtray from the ashtray back to my lips

So I lean up from my easy chair

I rub my three-day beard

And give that thousand yard stare

As I recall all the time and money we spent

Before I became irrelevant

That lyric paints as much of a picture as any brush or pencil, I can see a man sitting in an old brown recliner, hardwood floor beneath his feet, mosquitos of dust dancing in the harsh light, cigarette smoke lingering like a thick cloud, you can smell the room if you'll just try. It's lyrics such as these that make me wish I knew Matthew Ryan. I can imagine sitting across from him in an old classic diner, one that would still allow him to smoke, coffee in his cup, sleep in his eyes, I would love to hear his stories, his points of view but then I realize I do know him. I know him because of these songs, I know him because of the truth - oh how I appreciate that honesty. If you're discovering Matthew for the first time make sure you begin where he began, with this album, May Day. Matthew has a library of fine music, nearly a dozen albums in which only seven are studio releases. Each track on this album is significant, each track is poetry in its purest and most wonderful form. I really do believe this album is as timeless and perfect as any album ever made.

I'm not sure why I'm drawn to the thought invoking stimulus that comes with pain filled stories. Perhaps, "It's a perpetual stone in my shoe, one that I will always be trying to shake loose" - I wish I could take credit for that line, but that belongs to Matthew Ryan. I find an abundance of hope within the conflicted artists I speak of, they take us to places we've seldom been, they help us feel things we've seldom felt, they are the most gifted of all story tellers - they tell the truth.

Check out Matthew Ryan

http://www.matthewryanonline.com/

http://www.myspace.com/matthewryan